Going into the 1999 NFL draft there was buzz about how many “franchise” quarterbacks were available. The word was this was the best class of quarterbacks since the 1983 draft that ultimately saw six quarterbacks drafted in the first round, three of which became hall-of-famers.
The 1999 draft saw five quarterbacks (Tim Couch, Donovan McNabb, Akili Smith, Daunte Culpepper and Cade McNown) drafted in the first round, but each of them went in the top 12 of the draft in addition to the top three overall picks. Of that group only Donovan McNabb has anything close to a hall-of-fame career. The others are out of the league, with only Culpepper having an above-average career.
The 199 draft started out with a buzz about the quarterbacks, but will be remembered as the draft that gave us Torry Holt, Champ Bailey, Edge James and Chris McAlister. So in honor of that draft, the power rankings are grouped by some of the more memorable picks in that first round.
The Akili Smith Division – If not for Ryan Leaf, Akili might be the biggest quarterback bust of all-time. The number three pick signed a lucrative deal and then proceeded to give the Bengals 6 TDs.
32. Detroit (-1 movement from last week) – How about Dan Orlovsky obliviously running out of the back of end zone for a safety? It reminded me of an elementary school flag football game where the players don’t really understand “out of bounds” and continue to run after crossing the line. I wish he wouldn’t have stopped the play and then lost it at the official.
31. Cincinnati (-3) – There are a pesky bunch, but being pesky doesn’t get you a win, only moral victories.
The Cade McNown Division – Drafted 12th. He threw 8 TDs in his first year (albeit in three games) and sold at least one fantasy owner on his potential for the next year. That next year he threw another 8 TDs and was never heard from again.
30. St. Louis (+2) – OK, so they found a way to win and effectively eliminated the last threat to the 1976 Buccaneers imperfect season. Speaking of that – what do the 1976 Bucs do when the last winless team fins a way to win? I have a suggestion maybe they should drink a shot of warm piss, to signify how piss-poor there were.
29. Kansas City (+1) – What is this I hear – LJ assaulted a woman? My guess is she made fun of his painting of Jim Brown.
The Andy Katzenmoyer Division – Drafted 28th. Just another is the long list of over-rated, highly disappointing Ohio State linebackers. Get ready for the next one coming soon to the 2009 NFL draft – James Laurinitus. Katzenmoyer lasted 24 games in the NFL, my guess is Laurinitus makes is longer only because he can become a “wedge-busters”.
28. Seattle (-3) – What a terrible way for Holmgren to have to go out – trying to ride Seneca Wallace to a 2-14 season.
27. San Francisco (-1) – Flash back to week one, the 49ers score to take a 7-3 and Joe Buck (announcing the Cowboys/Browns game) confidently states, “The 49ers are my pick to win the NFC west this year.” Hey Joe, care to recant?
26. Oakland (-2) – The Cable guy’s debut didn’t go so well.
The Tim Couch Division – The number one overall pick, he seemingly had it all – strong arm, mobility and good head on his shoulders. He had an up and down career that spanned five years and saw him throw 64 TDs. His big problem – he got sacked 56 times in his first year and never recovered.
25. Houston (+2) – I am going to retire and start selling blood pressure medication in the Houston area.
24. Cleveland (+5) – Looky who decided to show up Monday night – Mr. Edwards. My guess is most of Braylon’s struggles were due to Derek Anderson.
The David Boston Division – 8th overall selection. Boston had one huge year for Cardinals, which coincidentally came after he “hit the weight room” (wink, wink) in the off-season. Like many of the baseball players who “hit the weight room”, Boston fell off the map once the “weight room” closed.
23. Baltimore (-3) – The Colts really lit them up, a sign of things to come with that non-producing offense.
22. NY Jets (-1) – Workman like effort against the Bengals.
21. Green Bay (-2) – Sure, they beat the Seaturds, but that game was too close.
The Javon Kearse Division – 16th overall selection. Kearse caught the league by storm in his rookie year with 14.5 sacks. He was like a “loogy” or “roogy” in baseball; he couldn’t do anything but rush the passer. Once the league adjusted, Kearse was reduced to a situational player.
20. New Orleans (+3) – If I am a Saints fan I am dreading that trip to London.
19. Minnesota (-3) – This team has no identity, do they want to run the ball or are they a passing team now. They still struggle to stop the pass and lately they have given up a few big plays in the running game.
The Daunte Culpepper Division – The 11th overall pick, Culpepper had some very nice years, but never thrilled you as a quarterback. In fact, come playoff time you were happy when Culpepper was taking snaps for your opponent. But that doesn’t change the fact that Daunte might be the best garbage fantasy quarterback in the history of fantasy football. So he’s got that going for him!
18. Denver (-7) – Easy money betting against them last week, they simply are not as tough as the Jaguars.
17. Miami (-3) – It’s tough to drop them when they all but had that game won against the Texans, but don’t good teams find a way to win those type of games.
16. Jacksonville (-2) – Finding Jimmy Hoffa and figuring out the Jaguars are two of bigger mysteries in the world today.
15. Carolina (-6) – The yo-yo team. That was embarrassing against a division rival.
The Al Wilson Division – The last pick in the first round was a steal of the draft. Wilson played eight years, as a middle linebacker and made five pro bowls. My guess is most teams would take that from the 31st pick of the draft every year.
14. Arizona (+8) – The Cardinals need a sports hypnotist to entrance them into believing they are playing at home every week.
13. Atlanta (+2) – 4-2! Their pre-season win total was 4.5. The question now is – are the good enough to make the playoffs?
The Ricky Williams Division – Ricky the Rasta, was the 5th pick overall. There was talk of Ricky going as high a number two heading into the draft, motivated Williams had a great start to his career, leading the NFL in rushing and producing the 12th best single season total in 2002. But then Ricky decided he would rather get the munchies at 4am than worry about football.
12. New England (-6) – When push comes to shove who doesn’t beat them in the AFC?
The Patrick Kearney Division – Kearney, the 30th pick, paid huge dividends for Falcons, playing in 142 games and making two pro bowls.
11. Chicago (-3) – That loss to the Falcons was a stomach punch, one that very few teams can overcome.
10. San Diego (+7) – That was an impressive win over the Pats. They need to follow that up with an equally impressive win at Buffalo.
9. Dallas (-4) – I think we can officially start the “Wade Phillips is on the hot seat” discussion. And I love the panic move by Jerry Jones – yea, Jerry keep talking yourself into Roy E. being your #1 WR down the road. Detroit is going to parlay all those extra picks and win a Super Bowl within three years.
The Chris McAlister Division – The 10th overall pick. McAlister hasn’t had the decorated career that career that Champ Bailey has, but he has justified his draft position.
8. Indianapolis (+5) – So now we find out about the second knee surgery! I wonder how many people knew about that second surgery. The Colts and the odds-makers, right? Those effing scumbag bookies!
The Donovan McNabb Division – The 2nd overall pick. McNabb has been hated since his name was called with that second pick, yet he has made 5 pro bowls and led the Eagles deep in the playoffs several years. My Eagles fan friends hate this guy with a passion. He doesn’t get the respect he deserves. Why? Despite getting the Eagles to the playoffs, McNabb has never won a Super Bowl.
7. Buffalo (+3) – Sack up time in Toronto. I am personally rooting for them to break the tie with Minnesota.
6. Tampa Bay (+6) – Do I think this is the best team in the NFC South? No. But they deserve it right now.
The Edgerrin James Division – The 4th overall pick. Think about the Colts and the decisions they made in they made in back-to-back years – first they selected Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf and then chose James over Ricky Williams. Imagine that franchise if they had reversed those two decisions. And had they – would the Manning’s have snubbed the Chargers long before Eli refused to play there? And where would Ricky have gone to get his “dime bag”? I need Doc Brown’s Delorean!
5. Philadelphia (+2) – The Phillies are doing their part to keep the Eagles out of the spotlight, which would have been huge had the 49ers not completely tanked in that 4th quarter.
4. Washington (-1) – Bad, bad loss, but in the grand scheme of things they will take 2-1 in their last three. They simply didn’t play well, yet it still took a defensive TD and a lucky “hail-mary” completion to beat them.
3. NY Giants (-2) – The G-Men, like the Skins, fell asleep this week. It happens!
The Torry Holt Division – The 6th overall pick, “big game” has gone to seven pro bowls and been all-pro once. The only drawback – struggles against physical corners.
2. Pittsburgh (+2) – The schedule after week 7 will determine whether this team is for real or not.
The Champ Bailey Division – The 7th overall pick, treated his teams to eight pro bowls. Hs is also a three time all-pro and future hall-of-famer. Champ is the “creme de la crème”
1. Tennessee (+1) – Mecury Morris said this week he is rooting for the Titans to go undefeated. Huh? Wait a second isn’t this the same guy who had the “don’t call me until they get into the same zip code”
blast? How can you old eff’s live without the champagne toast every year? Merc is taking the high road because he knows there is no way the Titans can run the table.
